An Editorial Comment On 
The Show Ring
BY: Tom Langlitz
Bailiff:  Do you swear to tell the whole truth and nothing but the truth? 
Witness:  Sure..why not 
Prosecution:  Did you attend the Triangle this past weekend? 
Witness:  I was dare.. see'd da whole dam ting.. 
Prosecution:  Would you say the judging at the Friday show was honest? 
Defense: Objection Your Honor.. this witness is a Novice and can't make that 
Judge: Sustained 
Defense: Did you have a dog entered in this show? 
Witness:  Yeah.. sure did 
Defense: Do you feel that your dog was fairly judged and placed? 
Witness: No way.. He went fourth! 
Defense: And in your opinion, where should your dog have placed? 
Prosecution:  Objection Your Honor, we have already established the noviceness 
of this witness. 
Defense:  Your Honor, this witness was an exhibitor at the show.. his opinion 
of the judging certainly is relative. 
Judge: The jury should keep in mind that this is not an expert witness, and 
that his opinion is not to be used to pass judgement on the integrity of the 
dog show judge but can be taken as a part of public opinion in this case. 
Objection overruled 
Witness:  Well, when I entered my pup.. he looked real good.. den he growed a 
bunch and his head dint.  Not only dat, but he done lost a bunch of his angles 
and underdrive and dat left him movin high in dee ass....  aldough he kep his 
iron back an real good suspension,  it still looked real bad cause he aint 
openen in da shoulder good enuff.   He shoulda been fifth.  Course da next day 
he went dead last... and he shoulda beat one a dem dogs. Heck.. dare was dogs 
peein on dare handler's foot at da triangle. He aint no pet or nuttin.. and da 
competition weren't so good but he aint lookin good fer dat show. 
Prosecution:  :::snicker::: 
Defense: No further questions.. defense rests 
Prosecution:  Mr. Witness... are you a judge? 
Witness: Well, not yet.. but my second cousin Bill told my 18 year old 
daughter he was gonna give me one a dem supreme court appointments 
Prosecution: hmm let me clarify  .. are you a licensed dog show judge? 
Witness: nah 
Prosecution: Have you ever slept with the judge? 
Witness: you mean dis one? (pointing to the trial  judge) 
Prosecution: I mean the judge that placed your dog higher than she should 
Witness: umm, In my cousin Bill's biblical sense? 
Prosecution: Mr. Witness... have you ever made love to the dog show judge? 
Witness:  umm  nope 
Prosecution: Can you think of any reason why she placed your dog higher than 
he should have placed? 
Witness: hmmm  nope.. unless she was lookin at my butt... they all say I have 
a cute butt. 
Prosecution:  No further questions. 
PS If you're looking for a point to this, you're wasting your time.
If you show your dog, be prepared to lose with grace as well as win.
A judge Judges within the standard of the breed, and his/her interpretation of the standard.
These pages are Copyrighted for the author by Showgsd-l, 1998 - 2006